I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
