i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
