just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
