forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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