Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
you never un-have a 4some
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
