my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I CAN MOONWALK!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
