dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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