i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
