I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
