I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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