im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I forget how to act sober
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