Where are you?
In a non slutty way
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
