We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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