I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize