I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
