My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
