My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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