You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
