I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
