WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
