Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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