Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
