And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
