Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
