just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
