Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
