She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she looked like the before picture.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
