Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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