covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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