mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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