If that was your dad, he is hot
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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