so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
