I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My vagina just recognized that song.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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