the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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