Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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