forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my being single is dangerous.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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