Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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