Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
