Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
