Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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