you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
