its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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