Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
