Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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