Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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