So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
