last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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