He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
