And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
In America we eat man semen.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's not a walk of shame if you run
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
