i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
